Place:Cosy womb
Date:Beginning of 21st Century
My Dear Mummy,
Sweet Kissi!
At the moment I am happy and well and pray to God for your happiness and good health.I said," at the moment",because only yesterday I came to know about the conspiracy to kill me, because you have come to know that I am a little girl.
Oh ! Mummy!I cannot believe it. My mind is in a tizzy..My mummy,who cannot even harm a small insect..how can she bear the pain of sharp instruments on her own daughter 's body?
No!This can never happen? Am I right mummy?Please say for once that the news is false so that my rabbit like trembling heart can heave a sigh of relief.
My mind has been in turmoil even since I came to know of the grim news.My faith was shaken last night, while in bed you were restless,and I was restless too. Papa whispered into your ears to decide finally,"This way we will be saving lakhs of rupees..not only money we will also be relieved of the tension of bringing up a girl in these unsecure times"I realised that I am being pushed into a chakravyuh . Oh mummy !I do not know how to break it!I am very much scared mummy! And I am helpless too! My hands are so small like sugar-batashas that I won't even be able to hold your Dupatta tightly if I find you going towards the death clinic.My arms are so slender and weak like tender stems of mustard plant that I cannot cling to your neck so that you are not able to jettison me.With the medicine injected I will just slip out of your body as a soap-cake slips out of wet hands.Please Mom!Don't do this.My voice is so feeble that my prayers cannot reach my Papa.I can only pray to God that you may please come to know what I am wishing.You can see me in my prayers once you shut your beautiful eyes. Please Mama,look at me once....please grant me this prayer...I am so eager to see this world.Till now I have only felt the comfort of your womb..I want to see the light of your face too.I shall joyfully dance in your courtyard with sweet little music of my payal.I am yet to play with my dolls ..I am yet to play kikkli with my friends.....I am yet to listen stories while sitting in Grandma's lap.Don't snatch my dolls like this.. Don't crush my games this way..I am your living doll mom!..I am requesting you again and again...Don't let the cruel world snatch your doll.You may not buy me new dresses,I shall gladly wear rags rejected by my elder brother.You may not buy me ornaments,I shall borrow from my Didi.But I shall be able to see the great earth..the sun ..stars..flowers and. and......at least.they dont come to an end by sharing...please do not deprive me of all this.
If you did not wish to give me birth..why did you open the way of your womb? Why did you lay out a cozy bed for me? If you had denied this opportunity at the first instance,I would have made my nest in some other body or would have chirped around like a sparrow or would have flown in the sky like a fairy.Now when you have promised me a body, then don't leave me halfway.
Till now you have been sending oxygen, blood and other building material for my body structure.Please don't deny me all these.Now,when my heart has started beating in its own rhythm...my body has become a large city of bones,nerves,blood vessels , muscles...and many dreams travel through this network...your one step ma!your only one step shall drop a bomb on this city.Don't create a Hiroshima inside your ownself.
I am your daughter ma!your love..your princess.Let me come to your house.Have you forgotten the day when you became aware of my presence?How happy you were?You went to the doctor and enquired of diet and tonics..and sent everything to me through blood.I was delighted to get such a good mother.I was delighted even on the day you underwent scanning.I felt how innocent and eager my mother is..she cannot even wait for the full term and wants to know about me immediately.But what happened? No sooner did you become aware of me being a daughter,you trembled with fear and depression?After all what was so tragic about me?If it had been a son,you would have kept him gladly,and if it is a daughter, you have rejected.Have you forgotten that you and Grandma keep fast and worship Kanjakan (Virgins/Devies)touch their feet and seek blessings.Now all of you have decided to get rid off your family's kanjak.Why don't you realise that as many daughters you will kill for a son,the sin of all of them will go to the poor fellow.Then how that innocent one will survive with such a heavy bundle of sins on his head?
No my Mummy!Dont commit a sin like this. If you are supporting your decision on account of the dowry ..then you are simply decieving yourself.It is just like a cat shutting her eyes on the sight of a pigeon.Find some solution to the problem created by your own Society. Why do'nt you resolve to marry your son without a penny in the dowry?Why don't other Aunts do like this?After all who have daughters ,sons also belong to them. But is it fair..killing one's daughter and yearning for a huge dowry through the son?
Oh mamma!please don't do this..you won't be able to wash off this sense of guilt from your lovely face.Don't become a killer mom!Do have courage to fight with the evils of society.I promise.....God promise
I won't become a burden on you.If you aredetermined, gather your energies and do some effort...some effort, I will do ...and I shall stand on my own feet through my hardwork.You shall see henna on my hands and shall enjoy the auspicious departure of Doli from your home as a proud mother..I shall fly from your house like a flock of sparrows...do not compell me to fly with torn feathers.Not only marriage I may make you proud in other fields, may be I become Kalpna Chawla of your world.
Mummy!Let me try out.......let me blossom in your life like a rose flower..let me spread in your surroundings like fragrance...and now when Papa comes to take you to the abortion clinic,swear by the ocean of motherhood love. .... make him understand.. but please don't take yourself to the hospital for a murderous visit.Don't take away life from my body even before it can breathe.
Oh !Mummy! No!..........Do not kill me mercilessly.
.......................Oh !Mummy! No!
....................................Oh !Mummy! No!
My last wish is that my mummy gets to read this prayer of mine.
Yours Tiny,
Unborn daughter.
Original in Punjabi by Dr.Gurminder sidhu
Phone:Mob( Canada):519-476-8427
India-011-91-:9872007658
Translated by her husband Dr.Baldev Singh mob:011-91-9876787626
658 Phase 3-B 1 Mohali-160059(Punjab) Phone 0172-4623658
